it has been an emotional night and day today. we had to supplement ellie's feedings starting last night because after multiple attempts, she refused to suck at the breast. i guess my milk is taking longer than she wants to come in. our first visit at the pediatrician's office today was a blessing, i think i have a new grandma! the NP that checked ellie out could obviously (by my crying) tell that i was struggling with this whole nursing thing and gave us a referral to a lactation consultant. after talking the the LC i feel a lot better about the situation. and i have to continue to remind myself that whether or not breastfeeding works out it's not THAT important in the big scheme of things. i was looking at ellie today and (probably stemming over from the whole days emotions) starting bawling. i had to let nate know that it wasn't because of the nursing issue, but rather how amazed i am that we were entrusted with such a big gift from God that has no health issues. to me this is huge because of all the suppressed thoughts i had multiple times that she could have any number of serious health problems. just another reminder in the power of priesthood blessings. somewhere near the beg. to middle of pregnancy i got a blessing and was told to have peace about the pregnancy and the baby. from that time i really did have peace about the success of all this.
so anyways, ellie has been sleeping most of the afternoon after she got her first shot. nate is up napping. i laid down too but had too many thoughts in the head to keep lying there.
well, baby is stirring! weird to say that :)
11 years ago
4 comments:
Alyssa, you are such a wonderful mother. Good luck with the whole nursing thing, And trust me, the tears are SO normal. Gotta love those postpartum emotions!
Alyssa, what you are feeling is so totally normal. I was the same way with Gwen. She wouldn't nurse. I tried everything (Lactation consultants, friends advice, nurse's help etc.) and nothing really worked. I felt like a failure. BUT, once I let go of those feelings, my feelings towards being a new mother changed too. It was so much more enjoyable. I wasn't always worrying about the next feeding or stressing out. SO, if it works out...awesome. If not, don't panic. Ellie will be just as healthy, just as smart, and just as in love with you. If you need anything...let me know. Seriously! Being a new mom is hard, but I don't doubt that you will be an amazing mother!
It was so easy to nurse my first but Parker seemed to always struggle. Looking back I wish I would have just let it go and give him a bottle. But I didn't. He nursed for 11 months.
I had postpartum depression after my first two. If you really are struggling talk to your doctor. Being a mom is hard. I think the hardest part is when you wait so long to be able to have a baby and then everything is not sunshine and roses it is easy to get down.
I'm sure you are doing a fabulous job.
Alyssa, I remember all these feelings like they were yesterday. I was bound a determined to nurse Kaitlyn but she wouldn't latch on and it was sad. I saw a LC specialist and they were no help. finally after 3 weeks of supplement feeding i just went straight to the bottle and we were both happier and healthier people. mentally and physically! it was the right decision for us. I never did nurse any of my kids and they are happy and healthy. i am not saying to give up but don't beat yourself up if you choose to go the bottle route. Ellie will be happy and healthy and you can "bond" just the same. and so can daddy. it was AWESOME! I love you lady and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't wait to meet her in person. PS i totally agree with McKelle! :)
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